Sunday, November 12, 2006

On stuff I keep forgetting to write down...

...like the startling revelation I had about transcendental numbers the other day. I don't remember what it exactly was, but at least I now know that it's not about root canals. Which reminds me, I need to get that premolar looked at.

But, first things first.

Really sorry - again. This does seem like a rather dry year for me, overall. Can't think of anything to write most of the time. Sometimes I do think of things to write, but then I forget what they were. Rather difficult to remember details and fight a hangover at the same time. On top of it all, I am as geographically unsettled as that metal shot from the ball-bearing you put into the do-it-yourself jumping bean (which never jumps, I wonder why they called it that. They should've called it 'tumblebean' or something). Anyways, like the shot, I go to Pune, and by the time I finish unpacking, it's time to go to Haridwar again, and vice versa, or the other way round.

Anyways, I have grown slightly older since the last post, see? So perhaps, instead of telling you about the strange things that happened to me (which would fill a small book, if only I can remember all of them), I shall share the wisdom I have gained over the past few months. Oh, well, what the heck - I'll make it 'over the course of my life'. Not much of a difference, anyway. This is why you should keep writing these things down.

So. There you go, a few nuggets. Don't spend it all in one place.

1. That transcendental number thingie. Though I don't remember the exact detail that made me go 'hey, I didn't know this!'

2. Buy black-and-white film whenever you find it, and expiry dates be damned.

3. If you are getting introduced to a cute-ish girl by a friend, and you have this official name, and this friend introduces you by your nickname, and the girl gets confused and asks you what she should call you, NEVER, repeat, NEVER say "you can call me anything you like". Nope. NOT smooth. Unless you're Brad Pitt, in which case you can even say "Me Tarzan" and get away with it.

4. Never crack jokes to mum about doing anything remotely insane with your career.

5. If your bike does not like you wearing khakis, and gives you a hint by dumping you on the gravel unceremoniously, listen to it. Do not buy another pair of khakis to replace the ones you just tore. Guess what will happen if you do.

6. Never spray-polish your motorcycle seat. It looks all nice and shiny, but hit the brakes, and you'll immediately know why it was a mistake. Especially if you're a guy.

7. When, in Haridwar, you find yourself griping to your friendly-neighbourhood ENT surgeon about the unavailability of alcohol in the city, and the doctor, in a gesture that, on judgement day when trumpets sound, will firmly ensure his passing through the pearly gates, offers to get you a bottle of whisky using his ex-serviceman clout, forget about being decent and take him up on the offer. Especially if you're stuck in a hotel room for a real long time.

8. The probability that you will run into an important client is directly proportional to the combined length of all the tears on your worn-out pair of jeans.

9. The whole 'round number' thing is overrated. Unless I can come up with two more nuggets. Meanwhile, remember what I said, especially about the black-and-white film.